HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TALEEN

Happy birthday to our one year old.

This past year is a complete blur all of a sudden. Today, Tutu is one. It seems like just yesterday I was writing to her in my tummy, not knowing what her name was going to be… unsure how I would be a parent, and how I would adjust.

Still unsure about some of those things.

But while the days have passed by so quickly, each day since has been so significant. A completely different life than the one I led before I was pregnant.  Each day filled with chaos, and happiness, and giggles, and lots of caffeine.

Watching her grow has been such a blessing and so overwhelming at the same time.  From the minute I left the hospital, I had my hands full.  I was recovering from an unexpected C-section & my baby would never sleep. It felt like I was constantly awake, for long periods of time.  I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing anymore and sometimes I felt very doubtful. And then on December 20, 2017, she laughed.  My heart fluttered. I couldn’t believe how hard she giggled, and I couldn’t believe how much love I felt deep in my heart. 

Certain memories stand out through the fogginess of my mind. The day she leaned toward me (April 20, 2018) or the one where she called me mama (May 30, 2018). They weren’t monumental milestones in Tutu’s life, but rather in my own.  The day I became I mother I felt like I had the whole world on my shoulders, that it was almost impossible to go on another day with no sleep and lots of crying. 365 days later and I feel like my life would be meaningless without her.

Yesterday she laid across my lap and I couldn’t help but sob.  Where did my little baby go? The baby that came in at 6 lb. 12 oz. The one that I cuddled so closely in my arms every time she went to sleep? Yesterday I had a baby. Today I have a toddler. 

Today is such a special day.  It is the day my life changed for the better, the one that helped me become a better person, and the day that brought so much meaning into my life. Happiest of birthdays to the sassiest, loudest, most beautiful, stylish, happiest, loving, sweetest girl I have ever known. The luckiest day of my life was this day, one year ago.

Also, thank you for all of your birthday wishes.  It has been such a delight sharing our moments together with all of you. x